


The Cravings Eventually Stopped and We Survived

by RubiconFiction



Series: Criminal Minds Oneshot Prompts Fills [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angry Spencer Reid, Angst, Derek is an ass in the beginning, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mild Hurt/Comfort, he comes around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubiconFiction/pseuds/RubiconFiction
Summary: She understood. There are some things only people who go through them understand. She understood.And if defending her meant going against the very people that had made him, it was a pill the world would have to swallow.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon & Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team, Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Criminal Minds Oneshot Prompts Fills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023031
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	The Cravings Eventually Stopped and We Survived

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heavenstands](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavenstands/gifts).



> This is part one of my oneshot prompt fills.  
> Prompt: Reid meets and falls for someone in his NA meeting. The team disapproves of him dating a fellow drug addict. Will he cave or allow himself to be happy?
> 
> Thank you to Heavenstands for sending in this request. I hope it is what you had in mind and like it. 
> 
> It gets a little cheesy and cliched I think but hopefully it's fine.

"Hi I'm Spencer. I had a problem with Dilauded but I stopped". He looked around the room, pausing for a moment to gauge reactions. Most empathetic, some apathetic. He swallowed before continuing. "I stopped ten months ago and thought, I thought it was over. But recently I've been, I think the correct literature is, I've been craving? Uhm...it started about a month ago".

He pushed his third tablespoon of sugar into his coffee as he took a deep breath. Confessing his fear of relapsing was harder than he'd like to admit but he felt surprisingly relieved at having done so. There were just some things that only people who experienced it would be able to truly understand.

"Spencer!" a voice brought him out of his deepening train of thought. A smile subconsciously graced his lips as he turned and recognised the voice.

"Raven". They wrapped each other briefly in a light hug, only their third or so in the past year that they'd known each other. Reid had met her at his second NA meeting. He'd made it just in time to catch her speaking and they both struck up a conversation later when she commented on his sugar intake. They kept in close touch and somehow, over the next few months, Reid found an unlikely acquaintance, friend and now something more in Raven. She was still the only person in the whole world to know every detail of his ordeal in Hankel's hands. Between the chaos of their lives, they never really got around to making whatever they had going on with each other "official" but still, their connection remained. Reid still wasn't fond of unwarranted physical contact but he'd entered a very comforting dynamic with Raven and brief hugs and casual touches felt... _nice_.

"Thank you so much for being here. It really meant a lot", he says quietly. And she knows it's sincere because Reid is just like that. A warm expression fills her eyes.

"Ofcourse". She reaches out and gently places her hand on one of Reid's which he reciprocates by gently intertwining his fingers with hers. "I'm really proud of you. This wasn't easy to admit. I'm proud of the guts it took for you to be able to do that". Reid simply squeezes her hand gently, looking straight into her eyes. Neither need to say anything at that moment. She's here and he's here and right now, that's more than enough. Both allow the fragile moment to comfortably pass before saying anything. Reid passes a coffee to Raven and they both start walking out the hall slowly.

"So how're you?" Reid asks, taking a sip from his cup.

"Not great", Raven admits softly. They always gravitate towards extreme vulnerability, reserved only for each other. "But I really don't want to talk about that now. What's going on with you?"

Reid looks at her with soft concern for a moment before accepting and moving on. He shrugs. "Well I do serial killers usually so... just as it always is", he quips sarcastically, earning an amused scoff from Raven.

"What's wrong? I thought you loved your job".

"No I do", Reid sighed. "It's just... really hard". He turns around to be greeted by Raven's kind gaze. He frowns slightly, "Plus, I'm worried that me being away so much is...is affecting us", he emphasized, gesturing between the two of them.

"Spencer...", Raven sighed. "Listen. It is hard. Us being apart so much. But this job is you. What you do, very few people can do it. And can do it well. We'll be fine". She stepped closer to him and whispered, "We're good. I promise". They may have kissed at that point, maybe not. But somehow, like most things meant to be, Reid's messages beeps right at that moment and whisks both away from the engulfing closeness of each other into the uncertain realities of their lives.

_And just like that, Reid finds himself racing back to stop the latest horrors people find themselves in._

The atmosphere around Reid was pretty typical of every time they returned back home from a case. JJ was resting her eyes and Emily was thumbing through a book while Gideon and Hotch went over paperwork. And Derek....was sitting in front of him? And smirking at him?

"So who is she?" Derek asks, smirk intact on his face.

Reid feels his cheeks warm up slightly. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh come on, pretty boy. Let's not play this game".

Reid pretended to flip through his book. "I have no idea what you're talking about", he continued, feigning innocence. He glanced up after a few seconds to see Morgan's raised eyebrows with a disbelieving expression on his face.

"You've either been texting or looking at your phone every damn moment we weren't working on the case this entire last week".

Reid sighed. "Fine. Her name's Raven. Happy?"

Morgan's cheeky grin widened. "Hold on. Not yet. I need something a little more on this Raven. Come on".

"I'm not giving you her life history Derek". Morgan put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Okay. Okay. Atleast tell me where you met".

Reid hesitated at that. He was pretty sure the team knew he had been going to meetings. But they hadn't really talked about it apart from Gideon. This was an extremely intimate aspect of his life and sharing that made him feel far more vulnerable than he'd like. Still. _This was Derek_. "

I met her at a meeting", Reid replied, deliberately averting his gaze and looking at the pages in front of him. He glanced up after a few seconds.

Derek seemed a little confused for a few moments before realisation clicked. His smile faltered. "Oh".

Reid furrowed his brows. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing".

Reid sat up straighter and shut his book. "No tell me. What is it?"

Derek sighed, looking a little uncomfortable. "Reid. You sure about... going out with someone from one of your meetings?"

Reid immediately felt a twinge of offense and protectiveness rise up in him. "Why?" he questions, his tone crisp and closed off, miles away from the friendly banter going on between them just minutes ago.

Derek continued unsurely, "No I mean Reid you know how hard it was and...what you went through that forced you to go to NA meetings. I just... I'm just concerned that especially given this job, someone with similar...issues may not be easy to be in a relationship with".

Reid felt... _angry_. Which was rare because he wasn't the type of person who usually felt angry. And especially not with someone who was pretty much his older brother. Still, Derek's insinuation was clear and it made Reid angry.

"Well let me make it clear for you Morgan". Reid's voice had become distinctly louder and had managed to wake JJ and attract the attention of Hotch and Gideon who were like looking at the two in concern and curiosity. "Who I choose to pursue a relationship with is none of your concern. And I really don't appreciate you implying things about my girlfriend". Had Reid not been so wound up, he probably would have noticed that this was the first time he'd referred to Raven as his girlfriend.

Derek winced, "Pretty boy...",

"Don't!", Reid snapped, interrupting him. "Just...leave me alone. Please. I need to get some work done". Morgan looked like he wanted to say something more but Reid had gone back to flipping through his book so he reluctantly got up and walked away.

Reid left the moment the jet touched the ground, refusing to as much as look at the others. JJ and Emily threw worried glances at each other as did Hotch and Gideon.

"What happened?" JJ asked later, well after Reid had left and the others were doing paperwork in the bullpen. Derek looked around to see Emily and Garcia looking on at them and suddenly felt nervous.

"Reid has a girlfriend", he began simply.

"Okay?" Prentiss spoke this time, voicing the clear confusion of the others.

"I would think Reid getting a girlfriend would be an extremely good thing".

Derek sighed, "No it is but...the kid met her at an NA meeting".

"Oh". Realisation dawned on Emily and JJ.

"Yeah see. Exactly", Derek says gesturing to the two of them.

"So?" Garcia asked this time, cutting through the conversation, the edge of warning clear in her tone.

"Baby girl. I'm just worried about him that's all. I promise. I'm not judging people struggling with addiction. Really".

Garcia looked straight on at him. "I'm sure that's true but it is insulting for you to tell that to boy genius".

Before Morgan could reply JJ spoke up. "Look Derek. I understand your concerns. Really. We see this what addiction can do to people. Hell, we nearly saw it with Spencer. But sometimes, sometimes the people we love just need our support. Not our help. Not our judgement. Not for us to look out for them. But just to know that we always have their back". JJ looked at Derek with raised eyebrows, almost threatening him to contradict what she said.

"I think you may owe Junior G-Man an apology", Garcia said, still a little coolly.

"I know", Morgan sighed. "I will. I just need some time to think. I will apologize to him".

The tension in the bullpen over the next week was so thick that not even Garcia's best baked cookies could clear through the air. Reid refused to even look at Morgan, or anyone else for that matter and Derek still hadn't been able to find an appropriate way to bring up the topic. Given how fast Reid worked, he didn't stay in the bullpen for more than a few hours a day and left the earliest he could. Somehow the fiasco at and the ongoing tension at work had brought Reid closer to Raven. Aided with the surprising lack of a case for nearly a week, Reid felt he owed it to Raven to be there with her as much as she could. For the first time that he could remember, he hadn't told her about something that was bothering him but he made up for it by going out of his way to make the most of his presence. It was almost like he was trying to prove Morgan wrong to himself. They even had their first kiss one evening and Reid realised that he was actually falling for her. Their closeness also seemed to help both their journeys with sobriety. Reid thought his cravings has dissipated after a bit and Raven found it easier to not relapse. It's almost like they found reasons to keep going. To get clean.

Back at work, it continued to awkward. Gideon eventually went to go talk to Hotch. He walked up to his office and knocked, entering when Hotch gestured for him to come in.

“You got a minute?” Gideon asked, a little uncomfortable. This was far too reminiscent of two co-workers gossiping about their other co-workers.

“Sure”, Hotch said as he closed a file and looked up to him. If he had an inkling of what Gideon wanted to ask, he didn’t let it show.

“So the kid is apparently seeing someone”, Gideon announced casually. Hotch was quiet for a few moments.

“I heard”, he replied carefully.

“He met her at one of his meetings it seems”, Gideon continued.

“I heard that too”, Hotch’s face and tone were both annoyingly stoic.

“It’s obviously lead to some sort of disagreement between the kid and Morgan. It may not seem much to you but we’ll have a case soon and this sort of tension isn’t good to have on the field. You should talk to Morgan”. Gideon got up without waiting for Hotch’s reaction but was stopped.

“Jason?” Gideon turned around, waiting for Hotch to continue.

“You don’t have a problem with Reid dating someone from his meetings do you?” Gideon was quiet for what seemed like a long time.

“I just want the kid to be happy. He deserves that much”. Hotch was aware that Gideon was pointedly ignoring the exact question he had asked but he suspected that the real answer may not be satisfactory. Gideon left before Hotch could say anything more.

Eventually, Hotch didn’t have to get involved. A stern talking to and slight cold shoulder from Garcia and his own overbearing guilt was enough for Derek to approach Reid without being prompted.

“Hey Reid”, he greeted tentatively. Reid was sitting at his desk, files of paperwork, surrounding him.

“Hi”, he replied shortly.

“Can we talk for a bit?” Morgan asked softly.

“I’m sorry. I really need to get this done”’. Morgan reached out and gently placed a hand on Reid’s arm to stop him.

“Spencer please?” Reid looked up and he would have refused but Derek’s own eyes had a sheen on them and… _hell, this was Derek. This shouldn’t even be happening_.

He closed his file and kept it aside. “Okay”, he almost sighed.

Derek sat on Reid’s table and fiddled with his fingers, wondering how to begin.

“I owe you an apology”, he spoke softly. Looking at Reid’s raised eyebrows, he slouched down. “Kid, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. What I said on the jet that day…I was an idiot. I just…I just want you to be happy. That’s all. I’m really happy you’ve found someone”.

Reid didn’t say anything for several minutes. “You really mean that?” he asked in a small voice.

“Yes!” Derek answered in a firm tone. “Yes I really do mean that. I’m very happy for you. And I’m so, sorry for being an ass to you. Really”.

Reid looked up at Morgan’s pleading eyes and smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot. You’re forgiven”.

Morgan sighed in relief, “So we’re good?”

Reid nodded, “We’re good”.

“You mind going telling that to Garcia. She’s still mad at me for hurting her Junior G-Man”.

“Yeah I’m gonna go talk to her. I’ve been a bit of a grouch for no reason to her too”, Reid chuckled.

“So”, Morgan began wrapping an arm around Reid’s shoulder. “When do we get to meet this woman with enough patience to put up with you?”

Reid rolled his eyes. “Soon, maybe. We’re at a good place now. Maybe in a few weeks. I don’t want to scare her off right now”.

Morgan laughed. “Okay. I see how it is”.

It was good. Their friendship was back on track. 

On their way to Garcia's tech den, Reid shot Raven a text:

_I might have a case soon. Come over to my apartment tonight? Want to give you a proper date._


End file.
